Nails, Lips, Knees And Feet

I was a good kid. So good, in fact, that my dad has admitted remembering no instances of misbehavior. Okay maybe my dad is just getting old, but despite my not being perfect I was by all accounts responsible.  To list my outstanding qualities as a child and teen would pretty much describe me still today: creative, outspoken, emotional (shocking! Ha ha.) and responsible.

The rules my parents made for me were less along the lines of curfews, bedtimes and homework and more along the lines of, "shoes must be worn outside when the temperature is 50 or below," "no black nail polish and no black, green, or blue lipstick!" (I was, however, allowed to wear purple and orange!) and "no knees peeking up from the table at dinner." Yeah I was a little weird.

I went through a serious no shoe phase along with my best friend at the time. She would sleep over on weekends, and in the summer, those weekends could easily turn into a week and we never wore shoes, not to the store and not on our long walks around the neighborhood. We also did not wear our shoes when my dad drove her home. This resulted in about five pairs of this friend's shoes in our mud closet by the end of the summer, an annoyance my parents nagged me about till all the offending shoes made it back to her house. Well the bare feet continued into the winter till my dad came home one day and was greeted by little bare footprints in the snow leading to the mailbox and back. The 50 degree rule was instituted.

The colorful nails and lips phase came in about the same time as the bare foot phase  (age 13-14) and to my parents' credit they barely turned a head to the purple, or orange lips and rainbow nails. But black was where my dad drew the line. I was not in any way allowed to appear gothic. Along with this rule was no black army boots (therefore one of the first purchases made when I left home) and no wearing all black, even if it was a dress shirt, slacks and pumps. (this very obviously led to an all black phase my first year of college) To add to my color obsession I discovered that mixing a large amount of eyeshadow with vaseline made colored lipgloss, thus green and blue lips were born!...and quickly shot down. Apparently they fell into the forbidden "Gothic Zone."

For as long as I can remember I have had a hard time keeping my feet on the ground when seated. My legs are always tucked under me, or my knees (one or both) are up, hugged against my chest. When we would go on long car trips our family's big cooler would always sit at my feet because I wasn't using the space, actually having the cooler there nearly doubled my vehicular real estate which suited me just fine.

Dinner was no exception to my feet-on-floor aversion. But my dad found my knee poking up to be an eyesore I suppose, because the "no knees above the level of the table" rule was born. So I just sat cross legged...and I still do. I still can't keep my feet on the ground. I've been compared to a cat, always curled up. I've been called a contortionist, always tied in knots and I even had a friend once say, "Sometimes I look at you and make a game of trying to figure out which of your legs is which."

I'm certain that this behavior will eventually result in varicose veins but that's how I'm comfortable. What can you do? I am happy to announce that I grew out of my all black and rainbow lips phases and that I usually put on shoes to go outside but I'm afraid that when I'm ninety I will still be sitting on my feet and hugging my knees...at least I hope so.